Thursday, February 07, 2008

Things Found While Cleaning My Kids' Filthy Rooms

* A blood-red sign that reads, "STAY OUT. I MEAN IT, cough, cough, SALLY, ANNA AND WALT."
* Another blood-red sign (this one posted to the door): "I HAVE SHAMILIOZIOUM. It's when you talk to yourself. Ask SUPERmac 18." (see photo; may be a quarantine notice)
* A purple piece of construction paper with a pencil drawing of a spotted bunny eating six carrots. On the reverse side: "Detrmination."
* A folded piece of paper with "trash" written on the outside. Inside, Scripture references from Isaiah and Psalm. (Guilt apparently prevented her from following through to the trash can.)
* A transcript of an interview with our dog: "What Luna does when she's trapt." Burning questions include "Do you bite people?" Answers are mostly, "Yes, of corse!"
* A stack of fake money won at the bowling alley arcade.
* A whoopee cushion won at the same bowling alley arcade.
* A coupon for a free kid's meal at Chick-fil-A; expiration date: September 2007.
* A handwritten menu for peach tea, fruit and eggs.
* A permission slip for one sister to enter the other sister's room.
* Two fake American Express cards sent as solicitations. One is attached to yet another permission slip by a bobby pin.
* An old list of spelling words with editor's marks; i.e., I suffered in the center of Mars; and The vein looked bad with the thread going through.
* Too many Mad Libs to count.
* A stack of movie ticket stubs. Some date back to 2005.
* A pencil illustration of a "sion"--half lion, half seal.
* This cryptic message written on a sticky note: "Bring SB to Orange Blossom. Go to Cookie Corners."
* A 15% off coupon to Justice; expiration date: July 2007.
* The lid to a bottle of detangler. No sign of the bottle of detangler.
* A wide assortment of coat hangers in various hideaways.
* These words written on a purple, flower-shaped piece of paper: "Some people wipe there feet, but I just walk past. What do you do with me? What am I?"
* Two empty trash cans.