Friday, February 22, 2008

Friday Round-Up

Health Update: Not since I was 13 have I slept until 11:20 a.m., but I did it! Yep, I slept in yesterday, thanks to a kidney infection and the hacksaw that was cutting through me. So no new post yesterday, but a more youthful, healthier me today. Thanks, Cipro! (It's not just for anthrax anymore.) And that blue pill that turns everything ... blue.
And the dreams! Whoa! The weird dreams you can have while you endure excruciating pain and a soaring temperature! Jami Gertz was my doctor, and as with any doctor visit, I tend to talk too much. Nerves, I say. So I just keep yacking away. Yack, yack, yack. Dr. Jami Gertz is so unnerved that she LOOKS AT HER WATCH. Then she gets up, opens the door, yells down the hallway for a nurse, then tells me that I'll have to see someone else because she DOESN'T HAVE THE TIME TO LISTEN TO MY PROBLEMS. I thought that was rather rude. And then I woke up.

* On the political front ... Tim Russert can act like this is Christmas all over again, but frankly, I'm bored out of my skull. The most riveting element in this campaign is Mike Huckabee's appearances on The Colbert Report. Last night, the two played air hockey with a puck shaped like Texas. Meanwhile, Hillary was offering her warm and sincere "it is an honor" diatribe to Obama in Austin. That's when I looked at my watch like I was Dr. Jami Gertz.

* Blog Update: Caprice of My Name Is Earl pants and Kidnapper Van fame has been busted. Seems the school principal pulled her aside to ask if she is the same Caprice who wears a homeless man's pants. So I was warned to be careful what I post. Yes, ma'am. And that reminds me: I need to write about Caprice's near-death experience with Hot'n'Spicy Cheez-Its.

* Newest purchase ... This Polar watch, the greatest thing since sliced bread, which I don't eat because I'm limiting the carbs and practically quadrupling my protein intake. Thanks to this watch, I can now closely monitor my calories burned, my heart rate and, I think, the barometric pressure in Indonesia. For those who already have a moderately obsessive personality, this is a great way to enhance your disorder. Walk the length of your driveway, check your watch. Get off the couch to find the remote, check your watch. Type really, really fast, check your watch. Those numbers can really add up.

* Valentine's Day amendment ... Guess what I found on my pillow, WITH A CHRISTMAS BOW ATTACHED, just two nights ago? Yep, that's right, the People Magazine Yearbook 2008. Apparently this periodical is available in paperback at Walgreen's for $11.99 (more if you live in Canada). But if you want to ensure a longer shelf life, you should probably invest in the hardcover edition, which you can buy for about $19.95 from outlets like amazon.com or buy.com. The hardcover option to this yearbook is lost on me because it's not like I'm going to seek out any autographs from Angelina Jolie: "Hey, remember that time we rolled so-and-so's yard? That was awesome! Stay in touch over the summer! 2 cool + 2 be = 4 gotten." But perhaps this is something you might do, so spending a few extra dollars makes sense.

Go enjoy your weekend...everybody's working for it, you know...