Friday, March 07, 2008

The Very Attractive Cindy McCain; Helen Keller ROCKS; and More! (Friday Round-Up)

Field Trip to the Health Department ... Oops! Seems you have to have an appointment to get a tetanus shot at the health department. So I was turned away until today. TURNED AWAY FROM THE HEALTH DEPARTMENT. Word to the wise: Tetanus shots are only $5 at the health department. Heavens! I paid more for the gas that got me there. This is a BARGAIN. There's so much to see and learn, really. In the short time that I was there Thursday, I learned that 3x6=18, that "today is Thursday" (twice) and that grown-ups still play pat-a-cake/handjive/shake-shake/whatever that playground game is called. With each other. In the lobby. No children needed. In the lawn beside the parking lot, which is shared with the county mental health center, I visited with three "clients" enjoying their soft drinks and smoking cigarettes. We talked about the unseasonably warm weather. I didn't catch their names. Shot didn't hurt; I can step on rusty nails all weekend, if I want.

Helen Keller ROCKS ... Some kids love Miley Cyrus; others, the HSM cast. In our house, it's all about Helen Keller. So imagine our glee when this photo of Anne Sullivan and Helen Keller surfaced and was publicized Wednesday evening. Two little girls gathered around like they were watching Neil Armstrong walk on the moon. One has a special shelf devoted to All Things Helen and occasionally tosses rose petals on the paperback books, magnets and Alabama quarters. She kisses her fingers then slaps the shelf as she leaves for school each morning. HSM's popularity will almost certainly fade, but Helen lives on. (Anne Sullivan rocks, too.)

Junior Super Tuesday ... Makes no sense. You can't be a little super, or eve
n junior super. Either you're super or you're not. And Tuesday wasn't that super. Neither was John McCain's speech. I think I dozed off. No, I'm sure I did. His wife is very attractive. I wonder if she ever speaks. I wonder many things about her. So here's the research, gathered from

Before his tour of duty in Vietnam, McCain had married a model from Philadelphia, Carol Shepp. While he was imprisoned, she was in an auto wreck, thrown through her car's windshield and left seriously injured... (edited here for unsavory content that doesn't really matter) met Cindy Lou Hensley, whose father owned Hensley & Co., a Phoenix-based liquor company that is the nation's second largest Anheuser-Busch distributor. (Editor's Note: Kegger at the White House!) McCain and Shepp were divorced in 1980, and he married Cindy the following month. In 1981 McCain left the Navy, signing his discharge papers the same day he buried his father at Arlington National Cemetery (Editor's Note: That is very sad), and the newlywed McCains settled in her home state of Arizona, where he went to work for his father-in-law at Hensley & Co. Months later, when Congressman John J. Rhodes announced his retirement, McCain quit the brewery business and ran for Congress. After two terms in the House, he ran for Senate in 1986... you know the rest ... Oh, one more thing -- the McCains adopted Bridget (now 15) during a mercy mission trip to Bangladesh. And another: Cindy had a stroke almost four years ago. She completely recovered. I hope I look like that if I have a stroke.

Party on, dudes ... The Medieval Feast is an annual celebration of all things medieval. But without the mead. Or the grog. Or whatever might make it more enticing. Fourth-graders dress in medieval garb, but the really weird thing is, SO DO THE PARENTS. For some, this is the equivalent of the senior prom. For the rest of us, can't say. Plan A was to dress as plague victims. Skin lesions. Bloodshot eyes. Mild amount of physical decay. When I asked for clarification on just how the plague manifested itself when at its worst, the teacher told me, "Oh, it was bad. People went FAST," snapping her fingers in the air. I said, "Well! We can play dead by the second course and head home!" Slight disapproval. Plan B: Dress as Bill and Ted and go on an Excellent Adventure in surfer shorts and hightops and arrive in our cardboard telephone booth/time machine. Again, slight disapproval. So we rented a gown and a monk costume. I think I have to wear the gown. It's very beautiful, by the way.

Have a delightful weekend...

"Be excellent to each other." - Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure