Saturday, March 22, 2008

Here's a Stimulus For You (Friday Roundup, a Day Late)

Hey, thanks a lot, internet provider! ... Our HIGH-SPEED AND WIRELESS internet (sounds impressive, doesn't it?) was on the fritz ALL DAY Friday, so if you heard a primal scream or saw a mushroom cloud as far as California, I take full credit. I will not name names here, but my internet provider also is responsible for our cable television. The company name begins with "Ch" and rhymes with "barter," "martyr" and "smarter." For those of us who spend between six and eight hours a day on the computer TRYING TO MAKE A LIVING, this can be rather debilitating. This is why Friday Roundup is being composed on Saturday.

President Bush signs the Economic Stimulus Act of 2008 so that Amy's friends can make home improvements and buy lots of fun things for their kids. Amy, however, will be selling pencils in front of the post office.

Economical stimulus my rear end ... The Economic Stimulus Act of 2008 may have been passed by Congress and signed by George W. Bush, but the funding for this Act comes courtesy of yours truly. We learned this week that we owe more in taxes than Ron Paul spent on his presidential campaign. This should nicely cover the Stimuli for several families of six or eight. (You're welcome.) If you'd like to show your appreciation, perhaps you can buy a box of donuts from us on the street corner or visit our next garage sale.

Speaking of garage sales ... Here are a few items you missed at Caprice's Main Event this weekend.

Add to your family's library with Full House novels, highlighting the antics of the Tanner family, whose love and laughter made a house a home. Michelle Tanner (see cover) rounds out the cast of lovable characters, and these books helped pave the way to fortune and fame for the Olsen twins. Thank goodness!

This custom-framed collage of a graduate from the Class of '94 came from Caprice's office. Nobody knows who she is. The walnut veneer could withstand a nuclear explosion, and the picture quality is rock solid.

These SouthTrust key rings are a collector's DREAM. SouthTrust is no more, but you can own a piece of banking history with these functional and decorative key fobs. Caprice carefully numbered and signed these, to authenticate their value and ensure your investment will be a keepsake for generations to come.

This arthritic cat was not for sale, but he has amassed rather enormous vet bills in recent days, making him the postercat for bargains, bargains, bargains. The garage sale was held as a benefit, with all proceeds going toward the We Love Petey Fund. Any surplus funds collected will pay for Caprice's pool membership.

Happy Easter, which is straight up the BEST holiday of the entire year...