Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Rock Of Love With Bret Michaels -- Rock On

We all have the same 24 hours in our day, and how you spend your time is ultimately up to you. Making this world a better place, bringing joy into someone's life, helping your fellow man ... or parking it in front of the TV.

I devote about 60 minutes a week (divided into two 30-minute increments) to watching something other than the news. The following are not options:

Deal or No Deal! -- I don't understand it.
Moment of Truth -- Is this still on the air after two episodes?
America's Next Top Model -- Honestly, I don't believe an explanation is in order.
Jon and Kate Plus 8 (sorry, Julie) -- I'll express my objections to this show in the simplest way, by listing a couple of episode titles and descriptions:
* "Jon Turns 30" -- Kate plans a surprise 30th birthday, for Jon, where she announces his fabulous gift, a trip to the Florida Keys!
* "Garage Remodel" -- Jon and Kate decide on remodeling the garage. The garage remodel is going smoothly until Kate brings the kids out into the garage. Will Jon finish the garage?
"Life is just too short." (I think I said that 12 times when I tried to watch an episode when the family of 10 traveled to Disney World with a small army of helpers and a TV crew. I was talking about mine -- not theirs.)

And that was about the time that I found this little gem, sometime around the writers' strike: VH-1's Rock of Love with Bret Michaels. Oh, but this is TV at its B-E-S-T! A description: "Since 1986 when MTV introduced the world to the blue-eyed lead singer of Poison, women around the world have worshiped Bret Michaels as a veritable Rock God. Never out of the spotlight, Bret's career is still rocking with Poison and as a successful solo artist and the women are still lining up (edited here for questionable content that borders on skankiness). But the demands of life-on-the-road for the ultimate rocker have taken a toll...on his love life. (The Pamela Anderson internet video probably didn't help.) Twenty lucky ladies will get their chance for an All-Access pass to Bret Michaels' heart and to share in all his superstar lifestyle. (That lifestyle includes his two children -- he shares custody with their mother.) Bret will invite twenty handpicked beautiful women to move into his rock and roll palace in the Hollywood Hills and compete for his heart (and share his eyeliner). They must win over his mind (huh?) and his body (no comment) by proving their love for Bret (pass the penicillin!), their passion for rock (hey, I know all the words to 'Every Rose Has Its Thorn') and their potential to be the perfect 'Rock Star Girlfriend.' "

In conducting my "research" on everything Bret Michaels, I somehow landed on his MySpace page. What an enlightening trip that was! He has so many friends! One of them even offered to make him a home-cooked Easter meal. That's nice. But it also begs the question: What can BRET MICHAELS offer the future Rock Star Girlfriend? What exactly does HE bring to the table? Does he cook? Fix things around the house? Is he handy with plumbing? Does he know how to restore internet service when it's on the blink? Does he wash his own laundry? Put away his dirty dishes? Weedeat the garden? Pay his bills on time?

The research continues ... stay tuned ...