Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Pearls? Diamonds? A Frosty, Perhaps?

This is about what the media isn't telling us.

Thanks to ABC News, we have a timeline of events that led to a complete unraveling of a political career. Read on ...

2006: Sen. John Edwards meets Rielle Hunter, a self-described filmmaker, at a bar in New York City. (Editor's note: It has come to light that Hunter had almost no prior filmmaking experience when she met Edwards. Kudos to her for getting the job anyway. My friend, Evelyn, once interviewed for a bartending job in Atlanta because she desperately needed money. The fact that she didn't have any bartending experience whatsoever didn't faze her. She told the manager that she was greatly experienced and that she would be an asset to the establishment. She spent the weekend before her first Monday on the job reading bartending books in the library. She kept that job for a very, very long time. I'm a big fan of such self-assuredness.)
Aug. 2, 2006: "Plane Truth," the first of a series of Web documentaries, or "Webisodes," chronicling Edwards' course on the campaign trail -- produced by newly hired Hunter and commissioned by Edwards' political action committee -- is taped. (Editor's note: 'Webisode' is not, and should not be, a word.)
Aug. 4, 2006: The second Webisode, "Golden Rule," is taped.
Late September to early October 2006: "Plight of Uganda" episode taped in Kitgum, Uganda.
Nov. 14, 2006: The fourth Webisode, "The Plug," is taped in New York City and airs on Comedy Central's "The Daily Show."
Dec. 28, 2006: Edwards announces that he will run for president in 2008.
Early 2007: The Webisodes are removed from Edwards' Web site.
March 22, 2007: Elizabeth Edwards announces during a news conference in Chapel Hill, N.C., that her cancer has returned and while it is treatable, it is not curable. (Editor's note: John was there. Was he listening at ALL?)
July 31, 2007: Elizabeth and John Edwards celebrate their 30th anniversary at their local Wendy's.
Oct. 10, 2007: The National Enquirer reports that Edwards ... STOP! We interrupt this program to say, "Hey, ABC, you buried the lead!" Back, back, back it up.

"Elizabeth and John Edwards celebrate their 30th anniversary at their local Wendy's."

This is not to knock Wendy's or poorly planned anniversary celebrations. I appreciate the Super Value Menu as much as the next guy, and I personally have been involved in some of the most lackluster anniversaries you could imagine. Some were downright bad. But I'll have to hand the award for Worst Anniversary Ever to Elizabeth Edwards.

How does such a dinner HAPPEN?

"I know I've cheated and that I've lied about it and that I'm worth more than $30 million and that you have cancer and that I could buy you anything in the world and that you've put up with my crap and my hair for 30 years ... Maybe a Frosty will lift your spirits?"

Elizabeth thinks it over, puts down her magazine and says, "You know what? You're right, John! I think a Frosty and an Old-Fashioned Hamburger might be just the ticket!"

I don't know how, or even IF, a gracious and intelligent person like Elizabeth Edwards could settle the score, but I do hope she at least had the good sense to toss a horse laxative into his stuffed baked potato.