Wednesday, September 03, 2008

We Have "Issues"

Today's post is a buffet of stories. None of them are tied together, really. That's the way it goes sometimes. Like at those Chinese-American buffets, where you can have wonton soup, lasagna and catfish.
And then polish everything off with a nice bowl of soft-serve ice cream.



If I were the type of blogger who courted and permitted comments, I would ask for your response to the following question:

What is the worst thing you said to your kids this week?

I would open the e-discussion with my own confessions of actions that left me neither proud nor relieved:

1. "Put your filthy hands in that bucket of ice cream one more time, and I swear I will cut off every single one of your fingers." (sentiment expressed to my 10-year-old who has a nasty habit of holding an eating utensil in one hand and digging in bowls and buckets with the other)

2. "See this?! It's a classified section! It's full of ads for very nice apartments that I can choose from! And believe me, I will, and I will live there alone and won't have to clean up after any of you. Do you understand me?" (shouted at the top of my lungs as I waved a newspaper in the air and then stomped from bedroom to bedroom, picking up stray dolls and filthy socks and wondering out loud what in the WORLD I did to deserve such disregard for order and cleanliness; at the end of my tirade, I sounded like Brenda Vaccaro and couldn't stop coughing)

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If it were 1995, would this headline have made any sense to you?

Google Chrome Mostly Glitters (headline from, you guessed it, Google)

How 'bout this?


Google's Chrome browser is fast and lightweight, with fresh and welcome user interface innovations. But it's still early beta software -- and it shows. (headline from InformationWeek, Sept. 3, 2008)

Ever feel like the world is moving much too fast and you'd like for it to slow down just a little so you can hop off and go eat a funnel cake or something?

.........................................

While waiting for Gustav ...
"Hey, Mama, it isn't smart to eat a burrito after your wedding, is it?"
"No, I suppose it probably isn't."
"MAMA ... look over HERE."
So I turned from MSNBC only to find Ken -- of Barbie and Ken -- doubled over with stomach cramps and wearing THIS:




And then I heard her repeat, "It isn't smart to eat a burrito after your wedding."

What does this mean? Too much TV? Changes in barometric pressure? Need for therapy? You tell me because I'd love to know.

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I love my kids. Each and every one of them. Even when they eat with their hands. And even when they're messy and can't remember to clean up after themselves. Which is often.